Anna knew She had to have a new pair of shoes today, and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, “Well, that’s it. That’s every pair of shoes in the place.”
“Oh, you must have one more pair. . . .”
“No, not one more . . . . Well, we have the cruel shoes, but no one would want to try . . .
“Yes, let me see the cruel shoes!”
“No, you don’t understand, you see, the cruel shoes are . . .’
“Get them!”
Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, and then reappeared carrying an ordinary shoebox. He took off the lid and re moved a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But this was not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had a right angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place.
Carlo spoke hesitantly, “. . . Now you see . . . they’ re not fit for humans . . .” “Put them on me.”
“But… “Put them on me!”
Carlo knew all arguments were useless. He knelt down before her and forced the feet into the shoes.
Cruel shoes, cruel world. I love Steve Martin almost as much as I love shoes.
I have, and always have had, a weakness for shoes. Flip-flops, stilettos, wedges, and ballet flats. Designer and bargain basement. My parents did not believe in brand names and in my youth I used to scour the racks of PayLess and Target for the most classic and verstile (and least bargain-looking).
When I got my first job in high school my first purchase was a pair of Tommy Hilfiger’s. They were a cross between Jack Purcell’s and K-Swiss – and I literally wore them every day of my junior year until the fell apart. In college I discovered Nine West’s beaded flip-flops, then Juicy ballet flats, followed by Coach wedges and so on.
My tolerance for the discomfort of the particular shoe can be directly correlated to the cute-ness. I can tolerate the most excruciatingly painful of shoes (thank you ballet for forcing me to squeeze my feet into horribly painful wooden toed shoes for days and weeks and months on end) if they look good, or better yet if they make the outift.
So imagine my shock and displeasure when, after waking very early (and throwing on an old and long worn out pair of flip-flops) last sunday to catch all of the World Cup coverage with the fam, I happened to break several bones in my foot .
How did I accomplish this? Well, while trying to prove to my husband that I could beat him in a foot race with him running up an escalator and I running up a staircase I lost a flip-flop, and lost my footing, and subsequently kicked a concrete step with maximum force while traveling at (my) top speed.
So here I am … stuck sporting this:
Touché cruel shoes, touché.
(Not to worry – he’s fully recovered and better than ever)
(Aaron Tveit and Leo Norbert Butz were A-maze-ing)
(obviously this one was for pleasure)
(were we spent a lot of time tasting beers and watching football @ the Granite City Brewery)
(@ The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, June 2008)
(Snow in June!)
My mother-in-law was a very young mom — she had my husband at the age of 16 — and as a result she never got the chance to go away to college, or to partake in any of the traditional college experiences. Two years ago, when her youngest child graduated from college she decided that it was high time she went and this morning she departed for a semester abroad in Greece.
Heaven… I (heart) these girls.
One last taco-stop on the way out of town.